Wednesday, September 16, 2009

mal

looking back
might seem
trying to jump into a deep hole
it's so hurt to go through it again
even though it's past
there a proverb saying
"Past repeat itself"
so wat should i do?
be more confidence in myself?
dun let me past influence me?
it might took a long time
to find myself back
cause i'm losing confidence of myself
day by day
scare of losing those precious things
cause i care
more and more each day


Monday, September 14, 2009

amour

Unconditional Love

A true story is told about a soldier who was finally coming home after having fought in Vietnam.

He called his parents from San Francisco

“Mon and Dad,” I’m coming home but I’ve a favor to ask. I have a friend I’d like to bring home with me”

“Sure , they replied “we’d love to meet him.” There’s something you should know the son continued “he was hurt pretty badly in the fighting.

He stepped on a land mind and lost an arm and a leg. He has nowhere else to go, and I want him to come live with us.”

“I’m sorry to hear that son maybe we can help him find some where to live,”

“No, Mom and Dad, I want him to live with us.”

“Son,” said the father, “ You know what you’re asking; Someone with such a handicap would be a terrible burden on us.

We have our own lives to live and we can’t let something like this interfere with our lives.

I think you should just come home and forget about this guy. He’ll find away to live on his own

At that point the son hung up the phone. The parents heard nothing more from him.

A few days later, however they received a call from the San Francisco police.

Their son had died after falling from a building, they were told. The police believed it was suicide.

The grief –stricken parents flew to San Francisco and were taken to the city morgue to identify the body of their son. They recognized him but to their Horror they also discovered something they didn’t know their son had only One Arm and One Leg

There are parents in our story one like many of us. We find it easy to Love those who are Good-Looking or fun to have around, but we don’t like people who inconvenience us or make us feel uncomfortable

We would rather stay away from people who aren’t as healthy beautiful or smart as we are

We conquered outer space but not inner space

It is my weakness if I look at the weakness of others

There’s a miracle in us called Love that dwells in the heart

Of you can not Love the person whom we can See,

How can you Love GOD whom we cannot SEE..

Thursday, September 3, 2009

mal

i hate myself
for not being able to control
my heart
my feelings
wondering why i wanna let go the feeling?
because i can't feel secure
bcz i noe i will get hurt
one day
if i were in that relationship
but i can't control myself
my heart is hurting now
but what can i do?
hv to endure it
why i have to endure this kind of life
it makes me suffer
oh god
please stop this suffering
show me the path where i can be myself again
pls..

Sunday, August 30, 2009

je suis dilemme

i dunno wat's wrong with me
2 days ago, everything seems fine
yesterday, i just found out my true self
as been judge by others
i guess
i have to learn more
about myself
i'm sorry dear
i weren't able to act maturely this time
i'm sorry i made me and you suffer
i had no idea
why i have been behaving this way
may because ...
i was too afraid that
i would lost your love
because i been your attention all this while

oh god
please help me through
i'm having trial another 2 days
haven been preparing well enough
there were too much of trouble
oh god
please give me strength
please guide me through this pain
so that
i could return to my own self

i been missing someone lately
i had no idea why
been trying to get rid this feeling
so that i won't get hurt one day
i know that i'm selfish
but i'm too afraid to follow what my heart say
because i haven seen the solidness in it
that makes me hesitates so much
what should i do god
i have been suffering all this while
but who knows
dear god
please guide me through this
so that i would be able to excellent in my studies
no regrets later

oh god
i beg for your forgiveness
for me being selfish all this while
please help me through
by showing me the solution
so that
i would have a peace of mind

thks...


Monday, June 8, 2009

amour

I hope my ideal guy will be like this quotation:-

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU... The one who turns to his friends and says, thats her...

coeur en ce moment

Empty

Tried to take a picture 
Of love
Didn't think I'd miss her 
That much
I wanna fill this new frame
But it's empty 

Tried to write a letter
In ink
It's been getting better
I think
I got a piece of paper
But it's empty
It's empty

Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing 
Is beating our hearts
We're empty

And I even wonder 
If we
Should be getting under
These sheets
We could lie in this bed
But it's empty
It's empty

Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing 
Is beating our hearts
We're empty

Oh oh
Oh oh
Oooooh
Oh oh
Oh oh

Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing 
Is beating our hearts
We're empty

(Maybe we're trying)
(Trying too hard)
(Maybe we're torn apart)
We're empty
(Maybe the timing)
(Is beating our hearts)
We're empty

Sunday, May 31, 2009

émotion en ce moment


"Perfect"

Hey dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that
I'm alright
And you can't change me

'Cuz we lost it all 
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry 
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and 
We can't go back
I'm sorry 
I can't be perfect

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore

And now I try hard to make it 
I just want to make you proud 
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright

'Cuz we lost it all 
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry 
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and 
We can't go back
I'm sorry 
I can't be perfect

Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard
Just to talk to you
But you don't understand

'Cuz we lost it all 
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry 
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and 
We can't go back
I'm sorry 
I can't be perfect

'Cuz we lost it all 
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry 
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and 
We can't go back
I'm sorry 
I can't be perfect

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

detruit dans me

today, seems to be a depressing day for me. those who only takes AS maths are going to finish their exams. envy them. mine, 2 WEEKS to go. sob sob. well, today reading econs econs econs n econs. sounds depressing with econs right? nvr mind cz i find econs now more interesting than before. well done father! you have choose the right course for me(p.s. actually i still prefer psychology!) whatever, nothing much i can do about it. something been bothering me these few weeks. something wrong with me i guess (weirdo) arghh....since everyone is happy around me it's fine. good luck for minasan in their exam...LOL(to destress, keke)!!!

confusion dans moi

i began to realise that i need to try to open my heart. not only for studies but also in life itself. i been neglecting the whole idea of warmness of my heart to other people. i been keeping everything to myself bcz i can't afford people to look through me. maybe it's bcz i can't bear to get hurt again. so now, should i or should i not open my heart to others? should i just be just like me now? actually, i noe no one could actually give me d right answer except for myself. trying to avoid it as i could. it's nice to blog when there's no one who noes about you in real life, cz you jz can pour everything from your heart. anyway, i'm happy now cz bro return to my family. we all miss him vry much! 
p.s. welcome back to my life bro!